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Monday, June 15, 2009
Archive
Protestors cheer for Mir Hussein Moussavi. Don't worry, Mahmoud. They may have turned against you, but Andy Samburg still loves you.
INTERNATIONAL
Iran bans protests in response to election fraud charges
Oh, Democracy, you voluptuous vixen; how men crave you affections. How they quarrel for your attention. Take, for instance, Casual men's wear model and current Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadineja. He's declared victory in an election that his opponent, Mir Hussein Moussavi, says is a sham. The dispute has produced the usual amount of protests, rioting and lighting of piles of garbage on fire, which led Ahmadinejad to arrest dozens of opposition members and ban rallies while making ominous threats against his opponent. The Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who is the only political figure who actually matters in Iran, has called for an investigation into the voter fraud allegations, so this one ain't over yet, folks.
INTERNATIONAL
Netanyahu kinda backs two-state plan
"And make sure you use a shammy cloth when you wax the car," Netanyahu said. "I don't want you scratching the finish."
Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu finally agreed to support Palestinian statehood, but he has a few conditions -- Palestine has to agree to mow his lawn, wash his car, re-shingle his roof and clean the gunk out of his gutters. Wait that doesn't sound right. Oh here it is -- Palestine has to demilitarize and recognize Israel's right to exist. So yeah, before the militarized Israel will recognize Palestine's right to exist, Palestine has to throw down their arms and first recognize Israel. God, this game is about as frustrating as a Soduku puzzle. And just as big a waste of time.
INTERNATIONAL
Pakistan to open second front against Taliban
Taliban fighters in Pakistan. You guys are totally gonne get it, when Pakistan gets around to fighting you, that is.

Pakistan is ready to open a second front in their war against the Taliban. The military has been given the green light to take out Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud, who is thought to be in the tribal area along Afghanistan's border. Of course, the military still hasn't put down the Taliban threat in the Swat Valley, so it might be a while before they get around to dealing with the tribal areas.

NATIONAL
Health care reform is Washington's latest flavor
Last week, President Obama kicked off the debate about reforming health care, a topic that will dominate the headlines in the coming weeks. Of course there's no real plan, no consensus, no details, and most importantly, no money. But in true Washington fashion that won't quiet the bluster of politicians who have no idea how to reform health care, but they are sure as hell the other guy's plan is totally wrong.